Posted on 3rd February 2018 at 16:21
Lie on your sofa and let yourself process it
Welcome to my regular Sunday blog, this one is all about feeling emotional and how you respond to it, enjoy!
Last Saturday I spoke at an event in Birmingham, quite a big event for me to speak at – there were over 100 people there. It was an event run by a bloke called Brad Burton who is awesome. He asked me to speak and I said yes. I did my thing for half an hour and the reaction I got has blown me away completely. I have had so much brilliant feedback from doing it, which is lovely.
For the week or two running up to the event, because it was quite a big deal, I was practising like crazy. I was getting myself ready for it, I was rehearsing what I was going to say, I was writing what I was going to say and then there was the event itself and I was a mixture of utter excitement and utter nerves. I couldn’t wait to get on the stage. I wasn’t on until late in the afternoon so I had to wait during the morning, watching the brilliant presentations by other people and then have lunch and then wait for another couple of presentations before it was my turn to go on.
So by the time I went on I was so hyped up. In all the breaks I kept jumping up and down and going, “Argh! Oh my god!” because I was this massive mix of excitement and nerves and pure adrenaline running through me. I did my talk and then I got all this amazing feedback. Ace.
Last Sunday I was really quite tired because I didn’t get home until late on Saturday night and then on the Sunday I got some really quite immense news in my personal life. Sorry I can’t share details at the moment but it’s huge and I am over the moon about it. I was still really quite emotional.
So by the time last Monday rolled around my brain was completely shot; my head was gone. I’d had all that preparation for the event on Saturday, all that hype, all that excitement, all the nerves, all the adrenalin, then the actual doing it and then the reaction to me doing it and then what happened in my personal life on Sunday. And I really struggled on the Monday, I just couldn’t make my brain work properly because it had been such an emotional weekend, the whole thing from start to finish.
I had arranged for myself to have a full day in my office yesterday to catch up on all of my work; and then my head was gone. It was just gone. None of the emotion from the weekend is negative, it’s all amazing stuff, personal and business it’s all amazing, brilliant, hooray, hurrah for me, but it’s still emotional and it still wipes me out.
What I could have done is made myself sit down at my desk and do all the work that I needed to do and plough through it and get on with it because that’s what I was supposed to be doing. I could have done that.
What I actually did was lie down on my sofa pretty much all day. I went on Facebook a bit. I sent about four emails that I really had to send and that I couldn’t move to another day. I spoke to some really lovely people on the phone. I went out shopping for about an hour and had a walk around which helped my brain. I didn’t push myself. I didn’t make myself do work. I didn’t fret about the fact that I have still got an enormous amount of work that I haven’t caught up on because I didn’t do it.
My brain really really needed some time to process everything that has happened and all of the emotion inside me. If I had ploughed on and made myself do the work and knuckled down and just got on with it, then I would have felt even more tired the next day. I would have felt even less like working. So what I did is give myself the time and the space to adjust and to process what needed processing.
That is why I wanted to do this blog because I think what most people do is plough on regardless. I think what most people do is think, “Well I know I’m tired but I have got all this work to do so I have got to do it.”
Actually what you do when you do that is you make yourself ill. It might be physically ill, it might be mentally ill and it might not be ill right now, it might be ill in a month or a week or however long it takes, but you will absolutely make yourself ill. So I wanted to do blog to ask if you are feeling emotional and if you are, whether it’s good emotion like mine was or negative emotion, or a mix of the two, if you are feeling emotional that’s your brain telling your something. It’s telling you it needs time to process whatever it is you need to process.
I wanted to do this blog to say please may you give yourself that time. Please may you give yourself that space. If you have a sofa as comfortable as mine, lie on it and don’t do anything. Just let the emotions come up. Let the thoughts flow through your brain. Let yourself cogitate on it. Let yourself process it. Give yourself that time and space to do that, to process it.
If it is negative emotion there are ways that you can help yourself release it. Give yourself the time and the space to do that. I have got a couple of tools if you want one – audio recordings, that kind of thing – that help you release energy and negative emotion. Email me if you want a copy firstname.lastname@example.org. I am happy to share those with you if it is negative emotion that you are feeling and you want to get rid of it and release it in in a safe way – not bury it, don’t bury it and don’t push it down, please don’t do that. You want to release it in a safe way
If you don’t want the email, if it is not a negative release that you need to do, if it is positive emotion like mine was, it’s still overwhelming, it’s still huge. Positive emotion is sometimes still utterly overwhelming to our systems and you have to give yourself time to process that; for your brain to process it, for your heart to process it, for you to adjust to it.
So that’s what I wanted to say to you today. Please do that. Please give yourself the time and the space and the energy to do that whenever you are feeling emotional.
Please don’t plough on regardless.
Please don’t make yourself do that thing, or do that work or go to that place if you are not feeling up to it.
Lie on your sofa and let yourself process it.
If you would like to find out more about my Happiness Club and how it can help you please click here: www.aboutthehappinessclub.com
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